Payne Gibson recognizes the “thousand yard stare” of the PTSD Hunter refuses to acknowledge, and as a natural caretaker, he can’t resist when his boss, Cade “Hercules” Thornton, asks him to help. Hunter is resistant until their surveillance assignment turns dangerous, and Hunter realizes he’s in danger of losing his career, the only thing in his life that matters to him anymore.
Conventional therapy hasn’t worked, so Payne suggests an unorthodox form of therapy: BDSM. As a Dom, Payne thinks he can help Hunter face the issues he’s been avoiding. Having come to trust Payne and knowing his career is on the line, Hunter agrees to try.
Their relationship as Dom and sub deepens more than either of them expected. Payne knows adding emotions into the mix is dangerous, but he can’t help it when Hunter is both the man and the sub Payne has hoped to find. But Hunter doesn’t feel he deserves love, not when his best friend is dead because of him, leaving behind a wife and child to mourn -- and to blame Hunter for their loss.
Payne can help Hunter to stare into the abyss… but what stares back might be more intense than either of them can handle.
This is also a book where you will get the feels for each of the MC's, both are special in their own ways. To begin with, you will really feel it with Hunter, who watches as his best friend dies, and it seems like something dies within him too. He seems to hold everything inside, and nobody can get inside him to help him recover.
Now enter Payne, and their first meeting you will laugh at - Payne may be smaller than Hunter, but that doesn't mean anything, as Hunter finds outs the hard way!! Payne and Hunter are teamed together, and after an incident, Payne mentions to Hunter about using BDSM to help him with his PTSD. Strangely, Hunter feels comfortable with Payne and agrees.
This is where you will see the BDSM being used to try and make Hunter face his feelings of guilt, and everything else with it, but in a safe environment. Payne seems to be able to read Hunter with no problem, but always is ensuring his safety.
The two do actually grow closer, but Hunter is still under the assumption that he does not deserve to be loved, and also in some ways, that he is totally unloveable as he lived and his best friend died, and it was his fault - although nothing could be further from the truth.
I don't want to spoil things and say what happens in the story, but I will say once you start reading, you will just want to keep reading until you finish (I got engrossed reading while on a bus and almost missed my stop!!). You will be literally cheering Payne on, as he helps Hunter, and also I guess at times, you will want to shake Hunter and say look at what is in front of you, as he is oblivious to how close he and Payne have become. What will it take for him to see what is straight in front of his face?
Ari McKay is the professional pseudonym for Arionrhod and McKay, who have been writing together for over a decade. Their collaborations encompass a wide variety of romance genres, including contemporary, fantasy, science fiction, gothic, and action/adventure. Their work includes the Blood Bathory series of paranormal novels, the Herc’s Mercs series, as well as two historical Westerns: Heart of Stone and Finding Forgiveness. When not writing, they can often be found scheming over costume designs or binge watching TV shows together.
Arionrhod is a systems engineer by day who is eagerly looking forward to (hopefully) becoming a full time writer in the not-too-distant future. Now that she is an empty-nester, she has turned her attentions to finding the perfect piece of land to build a fortress in preparation for the zombie apocalypse, and baking (and eating) far too many cakes.
McKay is an English teacher who has been writing for one reason or another most of her life. She also enjoys knitting, reading, cooking, and playing video games. She has been known to knit in public. Given she has the survival skills of a gnat, she’s relying on Arionrhod to help her survive the zombie apocalypse.
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